The Penny Trilogy - 2
A Day in the Life of a Lamppost
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Once-upon-a-time, not so long ago, there was a big lump of metal. A big machine came and picked the lump up and put it in another big machine. The other big machine squashed the lump of metal a bit. Then it squashed it some more. The lump of metal was not enjoying itself.
When the lump of metal came out it was a lamppost. Some men came along and buried it in the ground. The lamppost could see a long way all around it. It could see the little dog walking up to it. It saw the little dog sniff around the its foot (have you ever seen a lamppost with two feet?). It saw the little dog wee on its foot. The lamppost decided it didn't like the little dog. A big piano fell out of the sky and turned the little dog into a little, gooey pankcake. The lamppost was glad.
A big fat drunk came out of a doorway and lent on the lamppost. The big fat drunk smelled, a lot. A tall man in a blue suit who was wearing a funny hat appeared. He quickly turned the big fat drunk into an unconscious big fat drunk. The tall man dragged the drunk away. The lamppost was glad.
A man in a ripped straightjacket appeared. He had a chainsaw. The chainsaw was making loud noises. So was the man in a ripped straightjacket. The man chopped the lamppost into lots of little bits. The lamppost was not glad.
The man tripped over a wire and chopped his own head off with the chainsaw. His guts were expelled from his neck with incredible force. The lamppost was very glad.