The Penny Trilogy - 1
A Day in the Life of a Penny
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Once-upon-a-time, not so long ago, there was a penny. It belonged to a little man called Mr. Big. He was a gangster. He was a very nasty gangster and everyone hated his guts. One big person hated his guts so much that he blew them all over the pavement with a pump action.
The penny rolled out of Mr. Big's pocket. It rolled through all the gooey mess on the pavement and landed in the gutter. It was a very wet gutter. It was a very dirty gutter. It was a very smelly gutter, plenty of dogs had been there before the penny.
A little boy called Peter picked the penny out of the gutter. He wiped all the animal deposits off the penny and they fell down and plopped into Mr. Big's guts which were still all over the pavement. The little boy walked to the nearest Post Office and deposited the penny in a high interest account. Many years later the little boy came back, except he was now a little man. His name was Peter Big. He made a withdrawal. The penny had now become two fifty-pound notes.
The little man went to a sporting goods shop and bought a large rifle. He walked a few miles and then climbed a tree. He could see through a window into a bedroom. Inside the bedroom a big man was polishing his pump action. The little man shot the big man and blew his brains all over the wall. The little man fell out of the tree and broke his neck on the pavement.