The Piano Trilogy - 2
A Day in the Life of a Piano
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Once-upon-a-time, not so long ago, there was a piano. The piano was owned by a psychopath who liked to drop pianos on things. The psychopath was called Fred. The piano did not like Fred. In fact the piano hated Fred's guts, and if the piano had a pump action he would have blown them all over the pavement.
But the piano didn't own a pump action.
Which was sad.
The very next day Fred left a pump action right next to the piano. The piano jumped for joy. Unfortunately an especially juicy fly was flying underneath the piano at the very moment that it jumped in the air. The fly disappeared with a quite squelch.
The piano picked up a the pump action and fired it at Fred. The piano fell down dead. The piano had never used a pump action before.
Fred was so shocked by the fact that his piano had shot itself that he fell over and died of a heart attack. Fred had never seen a dead piano before.